What’s Working: Games, Part Two

(Part of a series about things that are going right in my mom’s dementia journey. What’s going right in your world?)

Well, I got so excited about playing games with Mom that I went online and searched for “dementia games”. Lo and behold, I found lots of links, mostly under the heading “dementia toys.”  (I mentioned this to my friend Susie, and she instantly started imagining toys that actually solve dementia, like a Magic Eight Ball that helps you find your keys. Sorry, Susie . . . not that kind of toy.)

I found some really cool things on a site called Fat Brain Toys. A few will be arriving at my house in the next week or so. I plan to try them out and report on them in future blog posts. (I have no relationship with the company.)

Meanwhile, I thought I’d share another family game that has adapted well to dementia care. It’s a math game called Mobi, which I found on another super-cool site (with which I have no relationship) called The Grommet.

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Mobi is basically Bananagrams with numbers: you make math equations in crossword form, using tiles. There are blue tiles stamped with numbers from one to twelve, and white tiles stamped with with plus, minus, multiplication, division, and equals signs. As with Quiddler (see my last post), there are fast-paced rules for game-loving adults and easier rules for kids. And then there are Whatever Rules You Want to Make Up for your friend with cognitive challenges. Because the point here is to have fun — using whatever brain function is available.

Mom and I lay out the tiles on a table and take turns making equations. I try to stay a couple of steps ahead of her, making sure she has numbers, operations, and equals signs available all the time. But mostly I just play along. I don’t really care whose turn it is. I just like to play.  To my great delight, so does she.

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Mom was a college math professor, so it’s bittersweet to watch her struggle over a simple arithmetic game. That’s the heartbreaking part of dementia — watching a bright, active person lose the skills that once seemed to define them. I am learning, though, that if you let go of expectations, the sweet far outweighs the bitter. Her old skills are not her.  She is still a complete person.  She’s not teaching math, but she’s playing with numbers, which is something that’s always brought her joy.  Isn’t that enough?

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